Academaplasia is the niggling and growing realization that you are intellectually inferior to a particular academician. This growing feeling will gnaw at you. In Europe and Asia this growing tumor of logic is alleviated by attacking the academics previous work. In America solace is found in the realization that gun ownership is still legal. In all cases apply significant amounts of Scotch Whiskey to the academician. This is done by giving the academic liquor repeatedly until you and the academic are intellectual equals.